REVIEW: “House” (Japanese, 1977)

TAGLINE: Apparently, there was no official tagline for this Japanese release. But it may as well be “The Weirdest Movie Ever Dreamt.”

SYNOPSIS: If ever there was a movie that refuses to be pigeonholed, it is House. It’s technically not even a horror film, although it has plenty of classic horror elements: Malevolent, creepy house? Check. Weird handicapped mistress of said house? Check. Ghosts and eerie paranormal activity? Check. Lost Patrol-like dwindling numbers? Check and double-check. But it also embraces children’s fairytales, Saturday morning cartoons, art house pretensions, high school drama club-level acting, music video sensibilities, and pretty much every non-CGI special effect under the sun. It plays like a cross between a fever dream and an acid flashback, as told by Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. Plus, haunted watermelons and a cat with magic-beam eyes. And, out of nowhere: boobs.