REVIEW: “House” (Japanese, 1977)

TAGLINE: Apparently, there was no official tagline for this Japanese release. But it may as well be “The Weirdest Movie Ever Dreamt.”

SYNOPSIS: If ever there was a movie that refuses to be pigeonholed, it is House. It’s technically not even a horror film, although it has plenty of classic horror elements: Malevolent, creepy house? Check. Weird handicapped mistress of said house? Check. Ghosts and eerie paranormal activity? Check. Lost Patrol-like dwindling numbers? Check and double-check. But it also embraces children’s fairytales, Saturday morning cartoons, art house pretensions, high school drama club-level acting, music video sensibilities, and pretty much every non-CGI special effect under the sun. It plays like a cross between a fever dream and an acid flashback, as told by Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. Plus, haunted watermelons and a cat with magic-beam eyes. And, out of nowhere: boobs.

REVIEW: “Tremors” (1990)

Damn you, Apple Maps. Damn you to…*CRUNCH*

TAGLINE: The monster movie that breaks new ground.

SYNOPSIS: Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward star as two down-on-their-luck country handymen who are confronted with the terrifying reality of being attacked – from below. Just as Val McKee (Bacon) and Earl Bass (Ward) decide to leave Perfection, Nevada, strange rumblings below ground prevent their departure. With the help of comely seismology student Rhonda LeBeck (Finn Carter), they discover their desolate desert town is infested with gigantic Dune-esque worm-like creatures that tunnel below their community, emerging only to feed… on the townspeople.

REVIEW: “Child’s Play” (1988)

Yep. Even stupider than it looks here.

TAGLINE: You’ll wish it was only make-believe.

SYNOPSIS: A single mother gives her son a doll for his birthday. Eventually, they discover the doll is possessed with the soul of a serial killer, who resumes his killing spree in doll form. But Serial Killer Doll recognizes his murderin’ days are numbered, unless he can assume human form. And the kid seems like his best prospect.

EVALUATION: High camp, bad period dress and hair, a stillborn – and spectacularly silly – concept, and leaden execution: Yes, folks, it’s all here, the hallmarks of bad 80’s horror. The score is OK, though, and I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for Catherine Hicks, but sweet fluffy Buddha, this thing stinks. Part of the problem is the premise. It’s nearly impossible to create plausible horror using the hoary mannikin/dummy/doll premise. “Magic” did it OK, and “Dead Silence” had its moments; I can’t really think of anything else, save for a strong “Night Gallery” episode with Karen Black. That one gave me nightmares.

Rate this:

Bekah McKendry lists her favorite, as well as her least favorite, horror films (with a smattering of TV thrown in for good measure) in this year-end wrap-up, posted over at Fangoria.com.

REVIEW: “Repulsion” (1965)

Catherine Deneuve gets weird in Roman Polanski’s “Repulsion”

TAGLINE: “The nightmare world of a virgin’s dreams becomes the screen’s shocking reality!”

I’m guessing we’ve all known someone a little like Carol, the character at the center of Repulsion (lovely French actress Catherine Deneuve).

A beautiful girl. Luminously, transcendently beautiful. Men are poleaxed, distracted, challenged; women are both envious and intrigued. But the more time you spend with her, talk to her, observe her, the more it becomes clear there is something… off. I knew a girl something like her in college. And for more than a year, I worked side by side with a woman who was drop-dead gorgeous – but not quite right. The situation grew ever more unsettling, as the depth of disturbance slowly revealed itself.